The Neighbourhood Boy

2005-11-07T21:03:00.000-08:00

finally tml As is here... quite scared by the fact that As is just tml but its better to get it over and done with quickly.. As haven even start but im thinking bout wat to do after As liao.. haiyo.. better concentrate on the exam first.. yup.. good luck to everyone taking As.. jiayou...

2005-10-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

im the lousiest person in this world...

2005-10-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

im the most useless person in this world..

2005-10-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

breaking down..

2005-10-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

wat if i completely break down one day?

2005-10-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

i guess everyone is suffering from exam stress nw.. dun feel gd at all.. no motivation to study.. have to go back sch everyday and there will be times when i walk ard the sch on my own cos im like the only one that hafta go back... nt a gd feeling at all... feeling really tired from all the mugging and revision.. hope all these will end soon and the fun time come v soon..

2005-09-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

phew... its nt over yet... i can still be with the one i love... thank u dear dear.. muackk..

2005-09-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

its over? i dun want it to be over...

2005-09-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

If it's the end of the world, the person i wanna be with is YOU.
The person i wanna spend the rest of my life with is YOU.
The person i wanna share my laughter and sadness with is YOU.
The person i wanna exhange rings in the church with is YOU.
The person i care the most for is YOU.
The person i cherish the most is YOU.
The person i love the most is YOU.
The person i need the most is YOU.
The person who can give me the most support is YOU.
Dun ever leave me cos i wanna be with YOU.
YOU are indispensable in my life.
I LOVE YOU!!!

2005-08-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

passed my napfa finally le... gt a silver...

2005-08-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

mayb im an idiot and says things that make u unhappy... but the thing is i din mean it and i really care for u... im really sorry...

2005-08-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

wat shd i do? wat can i do?

2005-08-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

hmmm... been quite long since i updated my blog... had a fun day todae.. had dinner with emily n her cousins+gf and bro n sis... initially felt a bit weird cos dunno one another mah then was a bit shy but after that was better la... they were quite fun n interesting to tok to.... finally gt to meet david and jenniefir cos su always tok bout them... yup... then also met her other cousin serene.... thx for sending me home... had an enjoyable time... felt stressed but after a while relaxed a lot... yup.. lots of fun and laughter....

2005-08-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

nt feeling well todae...

2005-08-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

crying so badly but i gt no one to turn to...

2005-08-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

arghhhhhhhh... feeling so irritated and so moody... hate it hate it hate it... arghhhhhhhhh...... feel like im breaking down....

2005-07-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

haiz... almost everyday have remedial... i hate it...

2005-07-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

hmmm... tml going for the echo heart scan thingy... although read the bochure on the test liao but still dun really noe wats it bout... but im more worried bout the result of the scan... yup... wun noe the results tml la... onli noe like 1 or 2 mths ltr... hopefully everything gonna be ok la... yup..

2005-07-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

nt exactly happy nw..

2005-07-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

tired...

2005-07-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

filled with emptiness within me... dunno howta describe hw im feeling nw... though i stopped crying, its still feel so sad within me.... =(

2005-07-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

dunno wat happened to u this time... but i guess its a great probability that im the cause again... might be because i will be bz cos of remedials n wun have a lot of free time... i really dun wan to either but it seems like i dun have much choice... really dunno... noe u were feeling upset when u suddenly stopped tokking... dun think i will really noe wats happening till tml....

2005-07-17T00:20:00.000-07:00

issit really so hard to control our own emotions? i think its really so damn hard to do so... why? why? why m i crying? why? m i really so damn weak? im really quite pissed over my weakness... why do i feel so sad? why is tears flowing down uncontrollably nw? i can feel an internal struggle within me... i feel so lost... im really in need of attention... its hurting like mad inside me nw... im nt really sure why but i think there's a few reasons... i really dun wanna see wat i have been thinking to come true... arghhhh... its really driving me crazy... the damn fact is its nt jus todae im feeling liddat... i think it has been liddat for almost the whole week... im really tired nw... really breaking down... slpless n rough nights... one thing i really want nw is happiness... but its seems too far away nw... the sadness is overwhelming... its really breaking me down.. its a torture... arghhhhhhhh....

2005-07-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

hmmm... been feeling kinda down these few days... i may appear jovial over my results which almost is a 37 streak but then dun feel gd inside.... who feels gd when u get lousy grades.... haiz... shd i drop subs? if i were to drop, wat shd i drop? so many qns r running thru my mind which is so unwilling to think bout all these... bout i noe at the end of the day, i hafta make a decision... kinda worried that i hafta go see the principal again... i actually hate her a lot la... she is so damn result based and freaking sarcastic... she scared those lousy students with lousy grades will pull down the sch standard... its so irritating la... isnt a sch supposed to provide education for a person? shdnt one have the choice on what he wanna study? hw can someone be forced to drop a sub when he studied the sub for more than a yr? this is so absurd... she is more concern over the results than the students... i hate such principals... i really dun feel like dropping... that's wats my first thot told me but then further thinking really confuses me... if i can really jus work on 3 n achieve gd grades y nt? haiz... really confused... arghhhh... 4 Os... sad case... nt even one a level pass... shit results get u no where... dun like it... dun like the feeling... need some motivation to start mugging... but everytime i get home, im jus plagued by fatigue n is really unwilling to pick up my notes n start mugging... i need a break... needa get away from all these results stuff... its so irritating... jus bout 4 more mths before the real thing... its really fast... time really pass v quickly nw... one week seems to be gone in no time... needa concentrate... needa mug... arghhhh... need some improvement in my results...

2005-07-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

susu is sick nw... jus bot med to her house... her nose flowing like tap nw... blogging at her house nw... get well soon...

2005-07-08T18:28:00.000-07:00

luckily u r by my side all the time... thx for keeping me company these few days... really made me a lot happier... dunno wat i gonna do without u... dun ever leave me... love ya so much...

2005-07-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. todae is a day with mixed feelings... gt back math result n din do well so dun felt gd... but after sch felt really happy... came home then im pissed n unhappy with my family again...

2005-07-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

happy day...

2005-06-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

haiz... dunno wats bothering u... jus worried...

2005-06-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

cts are over but i dun seem to be getting happier...

2005-06-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

pissed...

2005-06-29T17:53:00.000-07:00

haiz... y all the paper so hard one? die le la... sure get lousy results again... one last paper tml... chem... quite a killer for me since it was my worst paper in the last common test... argh... trying to stuff everything into my mind nw but so tired... feel like slping then whole body aching...

2005-06-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

so stressed... haiz....

2005-06-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

2005-06-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

haiz... mugging so sianz... feeling so tired nw... mugging makes me feel so sad... haiz...

2005-06-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

haiz... tml ct liao... so fast... a bit scared n stressed... hope i dun do too badly this time...

2005-06-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

suicide

2005-06-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

been thinking bout this qn... does a normal average person think bout committing suicide? hmmm... thinking is one thing... having the courage to do it is another thing... been thinking of the consequence if i kill myself in different ways... hmmm... mayb this will sound pretty weird n scary... yup.. but i have been thinking... hmmm.. issit really so ez to end ur own life? i dun really think so... dun think i will have the courage to do it.. haiz.... feel kinda unhappy nw... arghhh... want me to get gd results for the common test but yet do things that make me unhappy... howta mug? howta concentrate? =(

2005-06-24T17:57:00.000-07:00

haiz... hp getting confiscated.... arghhh.... i dun wan.... =(

2005-06-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

2 more hrs then will be our real 1st yr anniversary... spent a happy day with u todae... yup... nearly couldn't celebrate with u... sorry... made u so unhappy for the past few days... i wun forget my promise one la... yup.. dun worry la.... i will rmb one... went to ur house then surprise u with flowers la... hmmm.. mayb nt so surprising la cos u dun look v surprised... hahaaa.... then ate lunch at ur place... say nv make anything for me ah... in the end make a card... haiyo... i think ur last min card still nicer than my card that i spent q a lot of time on la... hope u will like the card la... then we went to watch "A Lot Like Love"... nt bad la... quite a nice n interesting show.... but we cannot be like them... we mus always be together... cannot like them take so long to decide.... then went ice skating.... so fun... hahaa... skate a while liao then gt the hang of it le... then started going faster n faster.... sorry... go too fast then caused u to fall down... hope the red spot will go off soon.... my blister v pain la... gt 4 somemore... then jus nw shower was so stinging... then went to buy ring n ate dinner... finally gt ring that can wear on finger.... sorry... a bit broke jus nw then u hafta pay... then sorry again cos i caused u to come down to lot 1... haiya... i blur la... nv see the black digital cam pouch so din return to u then ur dad needed it... sorry me so blur... yup... todae really had fun... been 1 yr since we gt together le... really had a great time with u... u r a great gf... really love u a lot... we will have many many more anniversaries together right? next time will be wedding anniversary liao... =p hehee... yea la... i noe la... i will earn a lot of money so u can become taitai... hahaaa yup.... happy 1 yr anniversary... muackk...

2005-06-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

1 more day... hope we can celebrate it happily tml...

2005-06-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

no mood to study... =(

2005-06-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

2 more days... so near yet so far...

2005-06-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

i hate myself...

2005-06-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

2005-06-20T18:04:00.000-07:00

haiz... terrible headache...

2005-06-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

falling sick... no motivation to study...

2005-06-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

3 more days...

2005-06-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

haiz... 1 more week to common test... having mixed feelings nw... on one hand, i want time to pass faster so it will be our anniversary soon but on the other im v scared of the common test... somehow everytime i pick up my notes n start studying, i cant concentrate... haiz... i dun wanna get shit grades again but then i cant really mug.... haiz....

2005-06-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

4 more days...

2005-06-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

5 more days...

2005-06-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

my chest feels so men...

2005-06-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

dunno wat to do... dunno howta help... dunno wat to say... haiz... wat shd i do?

2005-06-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

todae came back from my church camp... jus woke up nt long ago... dun really noe wat to say bout this camp... this camp is quite enriching as in i learnt quite a lot of stuff but my heart n mind is totally nt at the campsite... its elsewhere... din really wanna go for the camp but din really have much of a choice... dear dear... i was really worried for u for the past few days cos u were really unhappy... i feel that i m emotionally attached to u nw... if u dun feel happy, i wun feel happy either... it really hurts to see u liddat... to see u feel irritated n frustrated... really sorry... always cant cheer u up n make u happy... dun think u will feel much better for the next few days... yup... jus hope u will cheer up soon... put the unhappy things out of ur mind n get on with life...

2005-06-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

went for mindef med check up todae... was there for damn long la... from 8 sth to 2 sth... super sian... then ppl there do their things v slowly then they keep tokking crap among themselves so no wonder they take so long to check la... omg... i gt pes D for 3 mths la.... cos they want me to do some echo heart test then decide wat pes to put me in cos i gt some childhood illness that might cos my heart to have sth wrong... dunno wat's the prob la.. jus go for the echo test lor... the iq test q fun la... but some dunno then jus skip... gt 1 section i completely dunno howta do.. dun understand wat the qn asking then anyhow ans the whole section.. anyhow click click click... then after that gt some commitment survey thing... its just the NE survey la just that gt like 10 times the amt of qn... sat there n shade like mad... haiz... needa wait 1 mth then go for the echo test then needa wait for 2 mths after the test before i get my new pes so will onli noe like 3mths after.... haiz..

2005-06-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

dun feel any family warmth.... feel like im an insignificant part.... =(

2005-05-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

su came over to my house todae then i cooked lunch... made chicken chop... think its q ok la except that its a bit salty... yup.. den after that mugged for a while then went to her place to help install sims 2... dun get too addicted to the game hor... exam coming... dun spend all the time playing games... yup.. jiayou...

2005-05-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

cousin came over my house to stay over yday... played bball n tennis then was playing game n watching star wars at nite... slept q late la.. or shd i say early... this morning woke up q early cos needa go to the immigration office there to extend passport... so irritating la... mus keep going cos guys can onli extend for 1 yr then must go every yr... su went with me then we went bugis for lunch... we went siam kitchen then tried their buffet... stunned la... gt a lot of food... quite worth it la... they will serve the food then will top up if u want... they serve all the 14 dishes la... then i the end we din manage to finish.... a lot of food la... yup... tml su coming my house.... feel like cooking... mayb cook for her tml.... see my mood tml lor... yup... enjoy ur hols everyone....

2005-05-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

feeling v sianz nw cos nth to do... went down to play bball jus nw but itz nt fun... they weren't really playing bball so i onli stayed downstairs for an hr then came up le... so boring... din really slp much last nite... slept for bout 4 hrs.... but nw feeling quite awake... dun think will slp early tonite... susu cheer up soon k? dun let me worry for u.... i was vvvv worried for u last nite.... but then todae u feel much betta in the afternoon so felt more relieved... yup... dun be moody le la... everything's gonna be ok... think on the bright side of life... ur exam coming soon le so jiayou ba... dun give urself too much stress.... todae din get to see u but then tml will go meet u la... yup... todae had my make up physics spa... think i did ok la... at least this time nt oscillations and i din oscillate wrongly... so shd be ok la... yup... shall stop here le cos cant think of anything else to type....

I miss you!!!!

2005-05-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

tml is the last day of the term... hols is coming but i dun really feel excited... i dunno y... just dun think i will get to have any fun during this june hols... after june hols will be common test... hafta do some seious mugging.. my previous common test was v cham n so if i dun do well for this common test im dead... will hafta drop one sub which i really dun want to... dunno hw im gonna cope... i really dun have the determination n motivation to study... itz like i will nv learn my lesson... haiz... dunno how to say la... im afraid that i will be flipping thru my notes throughout the hols n will onli really try to mug at the day before the exam which i usually do... this kind of last min effort is really useless la... will panic n then in the end nth much go into the brain n eventually get lousy grades... haiz... hafta buck up... wake up... wake up... cannot slack anymore ng guirong..... argh... really sux when i think bout exams n tests... hate it totally... itz so tiring just to stare at the notes for hours... will be bore to death... needa put in a lot more effort than the others cos i did really really badly for the previous common test... hafta prove it to everyone that i can manage my studies well... haiz... starting to feel stressed... dunno how much i have repent from my previous common test... i dun like to mug but have to mug.... no choice... in the past education is nth... nw education is everything.... haiz... time has chged.... thinking bout all these makes me feel really awake... haiz... dun think i will slp so early tonite la... sad to say these r nt the onli stuff bothering me.... there r other stuff but i wun type it out... was having a headache in sch todae... dunno whether all these stuff are causing it... haiz... dun wanna think bout it but dun feel like slping either so shall just rot my nite away...

2005-05-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

feeling slpy nw... jus nw mug halfway then doze off cos q tired todae... went to run with su todae again... ran a while onli.... the impt thing to me is nt to run la... itz to spend time with her la... yup... tml actually needa meet the principal for some dialogue session one but luckily dun have le cos she nt free... yeah... den can go out for lunch with su... yup... think i will be slping quite early tonite la cos v tired.... yup...

2005-05-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2005-05-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

su came my house todae again... but onli come a while la... came my house to slack then i was mugging a little... lie on my bed n read comics... fall aslp somemore... haiyo... needa be drag out of bed... after that went to causeway pt to watch kingdom of heaven... quite a gd show la... gt cheated... bot cheese wedges but actually they jus pur cheese over the wedges.... still thot inside the wedges gt cheese or sth... then we sat at someone else seats cos we thot no one but then they oso nv say anything so we just sat there lor... yup.. lucky they nv chase us... trying to take more photos cos su wanna make some photo story thing so hafta take photos... even took one in the rain la.. was playing tic tac toe at the playground then suddenly started raining... quite heavy la... lucky gt umbrella... then the rain stop n we din realise... was still holding the umbrella for nth.... haiz... sianz... tml hafta start sch again... so unwilling to go sch... wanna spend more time with su... thanx for an enjoyable weekend dear... love ya... muackkk...

2005-05-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

todae spent quite a lot of time with u... came to my house in the morning then left in the evening... mugged a bit rogether but i think both of us feeling lazy so din manage to get a lot of stuff into our brain... was quite bored then attempted to find things to do... luckily tml nt muggign whole day again.. going to watch kingdom of heaven together.... yeah... looking forward to tml... looking forward to spending more time with u... hope this is nt a boring weekend for u... yup... let's have more fun tml... i miss u...

2005-05-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

gt a new blogskin.... same one as emily... chged together cos we were looking for blogskins together then decided to use this one since both of us piggy... hahaaa... yup... yeah... going to have a lot of time to spend together for the next few days... she coming over to mug at my house tml then monday we going to watch movie together... so happy... i love her so much....

2005-05-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

*yawnz* feel like slping although its afternoon nw... feel so tired for the past few days... todae woke up earlier than usual to go sch for napfa.. haiz... but in the end still fail la... stupid pull ups... my weakest link... haiz... seems like i really hafta train liao if nt wun pass my napfa... yup... at home slacking nw... emily went to driving centre to learn driving le so after eating lunch n sending her dere came home lor... dun really feel like mugging... really falling aslp liao....

2005-05-18T21:43:00.000-07:00

recently cant really concentrate on mugging cos been home quite late these few days then always v tired so din really mug... only read notes for 20mins then i stop liao.. slacking nw... v tired... been running quite a lot these few days... been runnign with emily for the past 2 nites... yup... quite fun to run with her... den tml is napfa... haiz... hopefully i can pass la... must get a silver la... yup... must jiayou... feel like zzz liao.... quite tired...

2005-05-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

finally... itz over... can heave a sigh of relief nw... *phew* nw i just hafta love her more n show her more care n concern.... muackkk...

2005-05-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

feeling really tired n really getting sick... both mentally n physically tired... dunno wat shd i do to solve this problem but i noe giving up is nt an option...

2005-05-16T00:19:00.000-07:00

wat is love? i haven exactly gotten the idea of wat's love yet... does love mean spending time with the person u like n telling the person how much u love him/her? or does love means doing the most u can do for him/her? would u rather love someone that love u or love someone that u love? all these seems so tough to ans... im nt sure howta ans these questions either... im too r confused... wat brings two ppl together? fate? haiz... think im beginning to tok crap... think these few days going to be v rocky... dun wanna think bout it anymore... getting really stressed up n upset....

2005-05-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

nearly puked jus nw.... nt feeling well n feeling unhappy.... think it will be a sleepless nite for me... hopefully the peace n quiet of the nite can do some gd n calm me down...

2005-05-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

taking a break nw from mugging... i think i have become slightly more hardworking... have been doing my tutorials... yup... hopefully my hardwork pays off then can get betta grades during my next common test n then finally my A levels... todae is the longest day in sch so feeling tired nw.... had our 4x100 class relay heats todae... we did quite well... finished 3rd in our heats but eventually din qualify cos our timing nt as gd as ppl in the other heats but itz ok... our aim at the start was nt to get last... gt quite a decent timing of 58 sth sec.... well done peeps... haiz.... suffering from flu again... nose like a tap... haiz.... just sneezed again... irritating nose....

2005-05-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

haiz... dunno wat happened to me again... suddenly felt depressed during church.... then this mood continue till nw... =( wat's wrong with me... emily came my house todae... first time as my gf.... hmmm.. think it was a rather scary experience for her but she said it wasnt as intimidating as she thot it would be... cooked lunch for her... cooked pasta... think it tasted ok la.. nt so bad... at least it's edible... yup... haiz... hope i will cheer up soon too... dun wanna be unhappy too...

2005-05-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

haiz... strating to feel really unhappy again... yday dunno y i suddenly felt v upset after i left sch n went to watch the gals match... was feelin really really depressed all of a sudden... luckily u accompanied me or else i think i will really be v upset... thanx... haiz... i really dunno y im liddat la... mayb just mood swing.... then this morning went to see the principal cos of my lousy resuls but fortunately is in grps of 10 la so nt so bad... at least im nt alone... she was like 'encouraging ' us to drop subs... almost forcing la i think.... haiz... i dunno la... feeling upset... =( came home v early todae n dun have anything to do.... initially wanted to play bball but then it is raining so heavily nw.... argh... everything is nt going my way... i hate it!!!!!!!
down n dejected....

2005-05-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

thanx for the prez... i like it... i really dun bear to cut the brownie leh.... maybe i shall just store it then dun eat it.... yup... gt a pleasant surprise when u pop out so early... still told me u just came out ah... bluff me ah.... the prez u gave r all special to me.... i knew it la.... gave me pink shirt... that time u said u wanna buy that for my bday... no wonder u refused to give me the prez yday cos u hafta bake the brownie... the pillow case was really nice la but i scared the words will come off when washing... yup... nw ur feeling kinda moody.... dun liddat la... cheer up or else i will become moody too la.... cheer up... cheer up... *hugz*

2005-05-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

haven been in the best of mood for the past few days... have been trying to cheer up but been rather unsuccessul... but todae cheered up quite a lot... thanx to u.... woke up early in the morning todae then went to emily's house... was a bit too early then cos u to rush.... sorry.... went to the zoo todae.... been quite a long time since i went to the zoo... thionk for at least 5 yrs.... quite a fresh experience.... nv celebrated bday by going to the zoo before.... quite fun esp being with the person u love.... watch one of the animal show n the orangutan, Riau, is so entertaining n funny la... spent bout 2hrs in the zoo then left liao... went back to jp then decided to watch infection.... sorry... make u watch that show... went to eat fish n co while waiting for the movie to start... thanx for the sumptous lunch.... the movie quite lame la... no meaning one... watch finish the show then oso dun really noe wat's happening... i think it's nt much of a horror la... it's more like a thriller then u hafta guess wat's happening n stuff... some pt a bit scary n gross la... but it's scary cos the music v loud..... then gt stunned a few times.... yup... this was how i spent my nday celebration todae... thank u dear for spending todae with me n celebrating my bday... thank u... i love u.... muackkk... *hugz*

2005-04-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

bad week... bad mood... haiz.... mum unhappy with me.. gt back my progress report n the results r like shit.... haiz... then todae was the parent teacher conference... mum went to see miss wong n they had a very 'nice' chat... she said some untrue stuff bout me la... so irritated... came home pissed n upset n haven been tokking to anyone at home... dun really care... since they like me to mug so much then i shall just mug lor... all they want is for me to mug n mug n get the results... miss wong asked me to consider dropping subs... haiz... i really dunno... feel so lost n helpless nw... breaking down.... why mus this happen near my bday? ahhhhhh....

2005-04-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

guess todae is the full stop to jc bball.... lost by 20 pts to mjc todae... think the final score was 57-37... haiz... the floor at clementi stadium is so slippery la.. cant run fast la... then will keep slipping... i nearly ran into the bball pole... mum went to watch la then she was shocked... gt a cut on my leg cos i tried to avoid the pole n roll on the ground... think i onli score 4 pts todae... though i nv commit anymore travelling fouls... played really badly todae.... haiz... but there will be no more matches coming... it's really the end of jc bball... hmm.. wonder whether it will be the end of bball comp in my life.... wonder if i will play bball in the army or in uni after that... hmmm... dunno la... guess it's time to focus on studies nw... hafta start mugging... haiz... so sad...

2005-04-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

todae we had our 2nd bball competition match against nyjc.... we told ourselves we must win... we cant lose... but in the end we lost by a mere 4 pts... 58-54... argh...
1st quarter: 8-19
2nd quarter: 7-15
3rd quarter 12-9
4th quarter: 27-15
the first scores are nj one.... haiz... bad beginning but then we worked really hard to catch up... we even drew with them in the 4th quarter but then eventually lost the game.... it was a really tiring game... from the 2nd quarter onwards we started with full court man to man marking n it really took effect.... we were all v tired.... at some pts of time i even feel like puking but i held on.... i made a lot of stupid mistakes again la... n i shd be blamed for the lost of this game... i was called for travelling fouls for 6 or 7 times.... if i nv travelled n kept possession of the ball we could have won... n if i have scored all my free throws we could have won also... haiz... i played almost the whole game except for 1 min when i was sub out cos the coach wants me to cool down cos i travelled for 2 consecutive times.... we made a lot of steals n nyjc team was under a lot of pressure from us... i dunno whether i played well or nt todae... i apologised to the team for all my stupid errors but they said nvm cos they said without me, we couldnt have caught up... i really dunno... i scored another career high todae of 13 pts... made more attempts to cut in todae... was more daring n made a couple of steals n fastbreak.... haiz... dunno la... we still have a chance of getting into the 2nd round... if we win mjc on monday by 30 pts, we can get thru... we must work really hard... it's already the last comp for me so must try my best... if we can come back from a 20 over pt deficeit we can win mjc by 30 pts... tml going to watch the video of our bball match todae... shall review the dumb errors i made.... hopefully can burn the video into a cd la... at least gt a souvenir from jc bball.....

2005-04-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

todae had our first bball competition match... haiz... din play v well n committed a lot of stupid mistakes... in the end we lost 75-20... total thrashing... at the ending part they v zhuai la... use their centre play point guard.... i admit that i was a bit nervous then din play well... coach oso scolded me... haiz... nvm.. shall do betta in the next match against nyjc on fri... we watched their match against mjc then i think we shd be able to beat them la... just hafta put in extra effort n jiayou.. heard that the gal team won their second match... they playing really well... i believe they gt the potentail n ability to get into the 2nd round n even to the semi finals... yup.. hope the guys team can jiayou oso then get into the second round... lost the 1st match but still gt 2 matches to go.... looking forward to the fri match... i must have more confidence in myself n be more daring when playing in a match or else i will just be a useless player in the team.... oh ya... hope u get well soon la... tml u going to watch nyco so hopefully ur stomach nt pain tml liao la.... enjoy watching syf tml....

2005-04-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

been feeling sicky since i woke up.. din really felt like going sch but still went in the end... then at sch felt like taking blue slip but in the end oso nv take blue slip... just ren all the way then even go trging la.. feel slightly betta nw liao... gt my bball jersey jus nw... yeah... im no. 7... feeling kinda hot n tired nw.. shall rest n slack...

2005-04-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

ouch... my whole body aching nw... first i gt whacked at my knee then this morning fell down during trging then gt blue black at my butt nw... so pain when i walk la... yday lost terribly to yjc... lost round 20pts i think.. i scored onli 2 la... the problem with me is that i gt no confidence in myself la... everytime i play dun dare to dribble the ball in n lay up... cant overcome the pressure... haiz... hope i will do betta for my nationals la... must jiayou... just next week onli.. tml getting jersey... yeah... if nth goes wrong i will be no. 7... yeah... neway... i did v badly for my common test this time... gt 2 Fs n 2 Os... shit result la.. haiz... shall make a comeback for the next common test...

2005-04-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

just had a frenly match yday agaianst cjc... the match was quite close la... lost by 5 pts onli... hahaa... i gt career high again.. 11 pts... topscorer... whahhaa... but gt injured... some cjc guy kicked my leg then aching nw... haiz... tml gt oen more frenly against yjc at aljunied indoor court... cjc ppl v rough la then the gals v big mouth... say we play rough when they themselves are so damn rough... but they gt one player twist their ankle oso... hahaa... too bad... =p competition coming soon.. jus next week... excited...

2005-04-10T21:24:00.000-07:00

haiz... another boring day... woke up then go grandma house liao... brought work to go grandma house n do but then end up mugging a while then stop le... then stoned for dunno 4,5 hrs la... n i mean really stone la... just sit on the sofa n stare blankly into space... then somemore was feeling so hot... started to feel moody n irritated.... haiz.... always feel moody when i start getting bored cos i will jus stone... do nth at all.... im still v bored nw... nth to do... sianz... boring sunday... sch starts tml... haiz...

2005-04-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

went to shan's church todae... church called hope... a lot of ppl la then all young ppl round my age.... overall i think the church nt bad la though a bit over enthu which i dun really like... i like the sermon part la... the pastor v interesting then pass down the msg in a humorous way so din fall aslp unliek the church im attending nw... still deciding whether to attend that church permanently nt... hmmm... shall think bout it la... one major diff between this church n my church is that my church is in chinese n this is in english... neway i prefer english oso.... this week quite tiring... bball comp in 1 more weeks time... v soon coming liao.. we in the same grp as nyjc, ajc n mjc... hopefully we r able to play to our highest potential n squeeze into the second round la.. been trging real hard la... next week gt 2 frenly coming up... monday against cjc n wed against yjc... wed we playing at the inddor court at the new spore bball centre la... v long nv play in indoor court liao... dunno hw i will cope with the pressure of playing comp again... i noe last yr i was v nervous then din really perform well... this time mus try my best to overcome the stress n nervousness... ppl if u r free pls come n support hor... we need lots of support... gd luck to the other ppl that r having comp n syf oso... hope r bring glory to urself n to the sch... hmmm... so bored nw.. nth to do then no one online... im bored... haiz... sian sian sian.... dying of boredom nw...

2005-04-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

sianz... just did finish my bio summary... haiz... todae gt back chem common test... xpected la.. failed... failed so badly somemore.... haiz... failed 2 subs liao... chem n math... then phy onli manage AO pass... dunno how i will do for bio.. hopefully dun fail la.. so sad... fail so many... lousiest results ever... after bball comp mus concentrate on studies liao.... this wed gt frenly match against cjc in nj... hope gt more ppl go support... did quite ok against rjc... hope we continue wth the gd work then beat cjc... ahven won a single frenly yet... must jiayou both for bball studies... tahnx dear for accompanying me on the bus ride home todae... really appreciate ur presence... feels betta when ur ard... just hope the bus dun reach the destination so fast... i love u n miss u... muackkk...

2005-04-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

very tired nw… feeling slpy… went to play bball jus nw… so scary la…was playing against gangsters… we were playing full court 5 on 5 against them… starting still ok la but as the match goes on then get rougher n rougher la… we played 2 matched n we won both… then started targeting one of they guys in my team… used the ball to throw at him in the stomach n head… he kept his cool la but gt pissed then asked the others in my team to play rough oso… but one of the more experienced person in our team said nw la.. the match went on without any fights luckily.. then after that the more experienced guys told us if we fought then there will be ppl coming down from JB to fight… I stunned la then a bit scared… mus be careful these few days…. Dun wanna be bashed up…

2005-03-31T21:35:00.000-08:00

todae there was a frenly against rjc la… we lost by a mere 4 pts… final score 64-60… close match but then their star player din come… hahaa.. I was the top scorer for njc… scored 11 pts… actually onli score 10 but then somehow the ref thot I shot in a 3 pointer… hahaa… nvm la… had quite a fun match… then coach still praise me then ask me to have more confidence in myself cos I gt potential… before the match was a bit upset la cos I failed my math… onli person in class to do so… so sad but after the match felt betta… career scoring high…. Yeah…

2005-03-28T11:31:00.000-08:00

hmmm... last day of the long weekend le... din really rest a lot for this weekend... been slping late.... like round 2 3 am everynite... i just recalled of an event that happened on thursday when me, su, hao n ser when to watch the movie, miss congenality... im nt sure bout su n ser but then i noticed sth... hao din noticed it.... yup... we were trying to look for a place to sit down n eat then was walking ard the shaw cinemas area but we couldn't find a place to sit down so we decided to walk ard first before sneaking food into the cinema... when we were walking to the escalator, we walked past the counter selling popcorns chips n stuff then i notice there's a middle aged woman behind us... she keep scolding n scolding... saying ni hen jian... then gt like bi wo hai jian.... at first i thot she was tokking on the phone la so i nv really care bout her... then she walked past us then stopped in front of mac la... i caught a glimpse that she was a bit staring at us then i gt a bit worried... then we took the escalator to the departmental store at lido... i thot the woman was gone liao then we were walking ard the the departmental store when i heard her scolding at the back again... i was stunned la... she was like possessed.... eyes staring straight in front then muttering aloud.... like in a trance liddat... i gt a bit scared la... i dun think the gals noticed cos they were walking at the front then tokking quite happily... if hao din hear then i dun think they will notice too... hao u a bit deaf la... it was quite loud unless im hearing things... this time i noticed she wasn't tokking on the phone or anything... nt to scare the gals but then i think she was staring at ur la.... she was really staring straight ahead... i a bit scared la cos gt no such experience before.... like followed by a crazy n angry woman.. she followed for quite some distance then turned away.... i was relieved la... then i kept peering at the back n luckily she din follow us anymore... i was looking at her as we walked away... im sure she's nt a ghost la like wat hao suggested... where gt ghost in the afternoon with so many ppl ard one.... since she did not follow us anymore i just forgot bout the incident n nv asked any of the ppl but nw that i think of it, it's pretty scary.... well... the gals dun be terrified.... the part where the woman is staring at ur n scolding might just be part of my imagination but the rest is all true.... maybe she wasn't even following us.... maybe... i dunno... just telling from wat i noticed...

2005-03-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

hehehe..... everything's ok le...... so happy n relieve nw... i love u...

2005-03-27T20:47:00.000-08:00

feel empty inside me....

2005-03-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

God pls save us!!!

2005-03-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

im tired... aftermath of nt slping well for the past 2 days... does anyone noe hw i feel? does anyone care? i dunno but i dun think so... im tired im upset im feeling helpless.... im bloody stuck at home.... wat is wrong with my life? everything turned upside down all of a sudden.... im trying hard to salvage wadeva i can but there seems to be little improvement.... im nt giving up.... im determined to maintain this relationship... i know u have been feeling really unhappy too... just chill out ok? relax n dun think too much.... cheer up...

2005-03-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

haiz... been a really bad day yday... the mental trauma i have been thru is hell... n i noe this kinda problems will keep popping out.. but i promise it will only be for nw... it's so so xinku when ur unhappy with me... u have the right to be unhappy la so dun hate urself or anything... it's all my fault... i still love u... hope we can still be together cos i really dun wanna lose u...

upset..

2005-03-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

=(=(=( feeling so upset nw... haiz... i think i will do so badly for my common test.... todae's papers r killers... im 75% sure im gonna fail them.... gt lectured when i told mum then she wants me to stay at home... can onli go out tml... sorry to disappoint u... i thot i can go out after common test but turn out to be grounded... feeling really upset nw too... i noe ur feeling upset too... sorry.....

tml is hell.....

2005-03-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

todae finish another paper.. i think i screw up my bio paper le... mug too much n cramp too much things in my brain then in the end mix up all the facts la... esp for respiration n photosynthesis... is a disaster la... just hope i wun be scolded when the results come out... so tired for these few days.... mentally tired... came back from sch then din really feel like studying la.... slp is much more needed cos really too tired liao... tml will be the killer papers... the subjects which i do most badly in... chem n math... haiz... wat a finale to the common test... DIE!!! haiz... all the organic chem stuff in my mind is mixed up la... forgot wat reaction for wat n all the conditions n stuff... then all my weak topics r coming out for math la... dun even noe a thing.... die die die la..... haiz... going to continue mugging soon.... sorry dear... made u wait so long todae.... sorry....

tired from mugging...

2005-03-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

resting again... seems like im v slack cos keep on updating blog but im nt la.... gt mug la.. just mug till v tired so resting nw... mayb continue ltr at 10 ba... tml waking up at 5 to continue mugging.... haiz... stupid mum... says can onli use com for 15 mins.... wat's wrong with her... mugging is so tiring... can't i even rest a bit n relax myself... there's a point when u can't absorb wat u study anymore n it's no use to continue studying... hafta rest one wat.... i dun wanna become crazy from mugging la... having headache nw... haiz... so cham... i hate mugging... hafta ren for another 2 more days before i can start relaxing... still gt a lot of things unclear... haiz....

3 more papers to go...

2005-03-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

todae finsh 2 papers le... physics n gp... think i did ok for physics but then gp think i did quite badly cos i dunno howta ans... so suay... just ate dinner... then the fish bone stuck to my gum... hafta pull it out then started bleeding... lost quite a lot of blood... going to continue to mug le.... tml is bio common test... so little time to study so much stuff... just hope i gt enough time n dunnid to slp late la cos i feeline tired nw... yeah... tml finally can see su liao.... hahaa..

mugging n mugging

2005-03-20T11:02:00.000-08:00

taking a short break nw before i continue to mug.... tml is physics n gp paper.... then test till v late la.... nw is the time when i can concentrate properly cos common test is just tml la so feeling a bit scared n worried le... hafta spend the whole of todae mugging.... yday finally went out in the evening with my family for dinner then went taka to shop... saw miss ho then she ask me why i nt mugging at home... must rest wat... everyday mug mug mug... v xinku one la.... hmmm.. ok... time almost up... going to start mugging soon...

resting...

2005-03-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

hmmm... it's saturday but im still stuck at home... but then will be going out in the evening with my family... just had my lunch.... cooked pasta to eat... nt bad la... i noe how to cook some of the stuff... hmmm.. im left with a few more chapters then finish mugging for common test le but then like nt much stuff went into my brain leh... haiz.. nvm la... betta than nv study.... resting nw... ltr then continue to mug...